Chai! Read How a 'Bible' Saved a Drunkard from Serious Police Trouble Inside a Beer Parlour

In what will come across as a really hilarious development, a man has ended up narrowly escaping police trouble because of his "holy book".

Although illegal brews remain outlawed by the government, there is however a number of people who still engage in the manufacturing of the same for economic reasons.

 

Matungu Sub County, in Kakamega County in Kenya is one such areas that still thrive on manufacturing illegal brews like chang’aa and busaa. Here, the village drunks have invented strategies and know how to beat government officials who are out to enforce these laws at their own game.

 

Take for instance, a 70-year old Makokha who recently left the entire village in stitches after he fooled police officers who found them drinking chang’aa in Matungu, that he is a pastor.

 

Makokha, a well-known drunkard is nicknamed ‘pastor’. But, he’s not a genuine man of the gospel who you will find in church preaching to the believers or seeking converts. His nickname is a result of his love for a book with a black hard cover that resembles a holy book.

 

“The ‘holy’ book is fake one. But when deadly drunk, he starts peaching to others, quoting imaginary verses that are not found anywhere in the world,” said a drinker and close friend of his.

 

Not long ago, over 20 drunkards were noisily in deep chang’aa merry-making when out of the blue, the police who were on patrol got attracted to the noise and came. They found drinkers taking chang’aa and started arresting them.

 

It is not clear how the pastor was caught off-guard and could not escape like in the previous incidences. But, in a quick calculated move, he fished out his fake old holy book and started preaching in the presence of five policemen who stood before cowed drinkers, with guns dangling from their arms

 

“I have always warned you this chang’aa destroys your lives. I have always told you the government banned it for good reasons, because it loves her people who pay tax in kind. You remember last time when l hinted that even if you hid, the government has a long arm and will one day catch you. See, the government officers are here to enforce the law, and arrest law breakers like you,”

 

He preached on and on and on...

 

After listening to him for about five minutes, they stopped Makokha and encouraged him to continue helping the drunkards abandon alcohol and save the whole village.

 

If the police moved near or even investigated him, they definitely would have arrested Makokha because he was half drunk and also smelling chang’aa.

 

However, Makokha was very clever. Although he was holding a small bottle full of chang’aa, he kept referring to it: “This purified water will take you to heaven. It will make you get saved by force.”

 

As he preached on, the officers tied all the drunkards and dragged them to a nearby police post.

 

All day, ‘pastor’ bragged how smart he was and laughed at those who just sat there to be arrested instead of inventing tricks or even running away to save themselves.